If at first you don't succeed, try again.
That was the main takeaway from 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 5 Episode 16, the first part of the bloated, five-hour tell-all.
Couples united to speak about everything that happened during filming and in the months since, and, boy, it was a wild ride from start to finish.
Tammy Solidifies Herself as the WORST
If you watch 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? online, you know Tammy tried to fight Kalani because she wouldn't roll over and send exorbitant amounts of money to Asuelu's family.
While you would think she would want to apologize for her actions upon reflection, she doubled down on her comments, leading to the most awkward confrontation to date.
Kalani's family is grounded in reality, but Asuelu's family only cares about getting money. It's nauseating.
The best moments of 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After Season 5 have involved Kalani's family leaping to her defense.
It makes sense then that Kolini's takedown of Tammy was spectacular. Tammy is a bully, and that explains why she offered to fight Kalani and Kolini via Zoom.
I'm not quite sure how that would work, but if looks could kill, Tammy would win that fight. Her resting bitch face is on point. It's just a shame her attitude stinks, too.
Kalani and Asuelu are still together, but there's no point in them being a couple any longer. Asuelu does not take criticism well, and that's going to be a problem.
He's not a good parent by any stretch of the imagination, and the way he belittles Kalani and uses gender roles as ammunition is despicable.
He got a nice dose of reality when she sent him packing, but she's also allowing him back into the home.
You know the relationship is destined for heartbreak when both families want the marriage to be over.
Elizabeth's Family Vs. Andrei
Charlie was a raving lunatic at the wedding, and his attitude was considerably worse without alcohol.
The only reason for that is that he was not in the same house as Andrei. He was behind a computer hurling insults and came across as a complete and utter wimp.
The only way Elizabeth and Andrei will be able to keep this union going in the right direction is if Andrei has a relationship with her father without the meddling of her siblings.
All the siblings say is that Andrei wants the family money, and have even hinted that he wanted a green card.
Their meddling is going to destroy the relationship, and I don't see light as the end of the tunnel if Andrei works as a realtor alongside them.
Elizabeth was very clearly acting when she said she didn't know about half the stuff that happened. She's appeared on Homeland, an award-winning TV series, so she knows how to act.
Elizabeth heightens the drama with her reactions instead of supporting her husband. There was a breakthrough during the tell-all when she actually went in on her sister and brother for some of their comments.
That was refreshing, but she really does need to support her man more.
Angela Wears a Mask ... on Zoom
Angela knows how to make an entrance, and while I thought she was wearing a mask because she thought COVID-19 could spread over the internet, it was because she had some dental work done.
Angela's reactions were the highlight of the meeting. Her reactions to the insanity playing out were perfect.
Unfortunately, her relationship with Michael still doesn't seem like it has legs to stand on. They are no closer to living together thanks to COVID-19, and I'm starting to get the feeling they are both losing the will to make it work.
Michael appears to be growing more frustrated by the day, and it makes sense: They got married over six months ago, and there doesn't appear to be light at the end of the tunnel for them.
For now, their relationship is very much on life support.
Colt and Deb vs. Larissa and Jess
The best thing to come from Colt's relationships is that Larissa and Jess are now friends.
They each had the worst boyfriend in Colt, but have managed to move on to new and better things.
Colt's actions are completely disingenuous, so it was nice to see him put in the hot seat. He treats women terribly, and he deserved everything Jess and Larissa said to him.
The good thing is that both women figured Colt out before long and moved on to bigger and better things.
Unfortunately for Larissa, she's been fired from the show because of her CamSoda debut, so don't expect to see her on the franchise ever again.
As far as tell-alls go, this was decent. There was enough arguing and drama to make it all worthwhile.
With another two parts to go, there should be more drama, but it will all come down to whether the arguments are worth the airtime.
What did you think of all the scheming? Which sides did you choose?
Hit the comments below.
90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After airs Sundays on TLC.
Paul Dailly is the Associate Editor for TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter.