Sam Lloyd stars as the recurring character Theodore "Ted" Buckland on Scrubs.   Ted is Sacred Heart's lawyer and is pretty inept at his job.  He's pretty much the most depressing character on television and has unsucessfully attempted suicide many times.

Ted kinda has a weird sexual thing going on with his mother and performs in a very talented a cappella group called "The Worthless Peons."

Ted Buckland Quotes

J.D.: Hi, how are ya? I have a quick legal question. What if, hypothetically-
Ted: Oh, God, you killed somebody!
J.D.: Noooo!
Ted: Someone else did!
J.D.: No, no; no one killed anyone.
Ted: Maimed, mutilated, disfigured...let's not split hairs

Finally, doctors, if there is a mistake, don't admit it to the patient. Of course, if the patient is deceased - and you're sure - you can feel free to tell him or her... anything

Ted

Scrubs Quotes

Janitor: Aww, either your picture didn't come out, or we got a hospital full of vampire doctors.
J.D.'s Narration: Vampire doctors? How did he hear about my screenplay?

On advertisement
Girl: Mommy? When's daddy coming home?
Mother: He isn't. If only he'd loved us enough to get a full body scan at Sacred Heart!