Sam Lloyd stars as the recurring character Theodore "Ted" Buckland on Scrubs.   Ted is Sacred Heart's lawyer and is pretty inept at his job.  He's pretty much the most depressing character on television and has unsucessfully attempted suicide many times.

Ted kinda has a weird sexual thing going on with his mother and performs in a very talented a cappella group called "The Worthless Peons."

Ted Buckland Quotes

J.D.: Hi, how are ya? I have a quick legal question. What if, hypothetically-
Ted: Oh, God, you killed somebody!
J.D.: Noooo!
Ted: Someone else did!
J.D.: No, no; no one killed anyone.
Ted: Maimed, mutilated, disfigured...let's not split hairs

Finally, doctors, if there is a mistake, don't admit it to the patient. Of course, if the patient is deceased - and you're sure - you can feel free to tell him or her... anything

Ted

Scrubs Quotes

I'm narcissitic, I'm pessimistic, I'm obsessive, I'm insecure, and I am so afraid of intimacy that every one of my relationships is a journey of self sabatoge that inevitably end in a black vacuum of shattered expectations and despair.

J.D.

Doug wanted me to give this patient five hundred thousand milligrams of morphine. I thought I'd check with you before I kill a man.

Laverne