Father Maxi: Boys, I haven't seen you in church lately.
Kyle: Well, I'm Jewish.
Father Maxi: You're not too Jewish to worship Jesus, are you?

Kyle Broflovski
South Park Season 3 Episode 2: "Spontaneous Combustion"
South Park
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South Park Season 3 Episode 2 Quotes

Randy: Boys, did you notice anything strange about Kenny, in the weeks leading up to his combustion? What did he spend his time doing?
Kyle: He didn't do anything. He was always with his new girlfriend.
Randy: New girlfriend?
Stan: Yeah, he started seeing this girl and he spent all his time taking the bus to go visit her. What does that have to do with his death?
Randy: Maybe nothing...maybe everything.
(Dramatic music plays in the background)
Stan: Yeah, well, we're gonna go work on getting Kyle's dad a nerection.
Randy: Yes, yes of course-I've got work to do.
(They leave the room)
Randy: What?

Kyle: Hey, that went really well. They really liked it.
Cartman: Yeah, told you I'd be a sweet Jesus, you guys.
Kyle: Aw man, at least the real Jesus didn't weight 400 pounds.
Cartman: Up your ass, with broken glass!