There is no guy, I'm the guy.

Phil

Chandler: (About the porno) Okay, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
Monica: All I say is, she better get the job.
Ross: Looks to me like he's the one getting the job.

Dr. Cox: Thanks to your little gesture, she actually believes that the Earth is full of people who are deep down filled with kindness and caring!
Dr. Kelso: Well that's absurd, people are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.
Dr. Cox: Exactly!

Avery: What are we gonna tell her... about us?
Juliette: We'll tell her she came from a place of love, and her parents became great friends.

You and I were meant to tango.

Adrian

Mr. Wolcutt: I can make one phone call and your career is toast.
Cho: (decidedly unimpressed) That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.

Are you really going to leave me here, all locked up, and not in a sexy way?

Jan

Fin: A lot of things are changing around here. I mean, Rollins got a baby, you got a baby.
Benson: You want a baby? (pause) You want a life?
Fin: This is my life.

Do we have to keep talking about death all the time? It just keeps reminding me of grandma.

Harris

Chuck: She's a guy.
Who took my speech at the freshman dinner and gave it to Vanessa Abrams. He double crossed me, and I-
Chuck: Demand satisfaction.
Blair: You still up for it?
Chuck: [nods]
Blair: You wonderful man. I'll just go powder my nose for ... 10 minutes?
Chuck: I'll only need five.
[approaches Josh]
Josh: Can I help you?
Chuck: Oh, definitely.

Choi: What happened?
Father: There was an accident. Um... I choked him out. I had to.

Shafe: Okay, but that would be illegal.
Hodiak: *gasp* Don't brag when it works.