Where's my son? Where's Stiles?

Sheriff

Hey Chris? What ever happened to Geena Davis? She used to be in movies but she's not in movies anymore. She's attractive enough but when she smiles you see too much gum. Not enough tooth to gum ratio. Chris? Ah I'll tell you tomorrow!

Stewie

OMG. I was just poleaxed by a poor person.

Blair

MEREDITH: "I did not try to drown myself in the bathtub."
IZZIE: "Hey, I ate everything out of the fridge last night. Everything. Including a tub of butter. There's not judgement here."

Cathy: I wanna do it on the grass.
Paul: Really? You want me to do you in the ass?
Cathy: No! GRASS!

You think that’s what your job was? Your job was to learn.

James

The car is ready, so follow the plan.

Dolly

Any addition to the extended BAU family is a cause to gather and to rejoice and to give loot in the form of baby swag.

Garcia

Brenda: It still says I didn't care about what happened to Turell Baylor.
Raydor: That's okay, nobody cared about him until he died.

Rebecca: Come back.
Simon: I'll try my best.
Rebecca: Do better than that. Come back.

Brie: I can't say it out loud.
Brady: I understand, when I first got back from Iraq, there were some nights where I was in my head and it was bad. I couldn't talk about it so I started writing stuff down.
Brie: Did it work?
Brady: Yeah. You can have someone read it, you can throw it away. Whatever you decide. And you still get the poison out.
Brie: Will you stay with me tonight?
Brady: I'm not going anywhere.

Ted: Hi beautiful. Beautifuls...
Rose: Hi, Daddy.
Linda: Hi, Daddy. And I'm just never calling you that again