I was never your son!

Ryan

Deputy: I had no choice!!
Kayce: Yeah, you keep tellin' yourself that!

[Turtle helping Drama rehearse script]
Turtle: It says we're supposed to hug. I ain't hugging you.
Drama: Don't be a wise ass, Turtle. Just read the lines like Brooke would

I know that you had a tough go when you were little but sooner or later you've got to stop blaming your childhood. At some point, when you choose wrong over right that's on you.

Esposito

So finally a decent wound on this ship, and I miss out.

Simon

Judith: Don't you think you've had enough to drink at the magic show, Evelyn?
Evelyn: Excuse me, darling, but some of us deal with our boredom and depression the old-fashioned, non-prescription way

Queen Billups: Raise a glass to King Andirithieau who, at this very moment, is destroying his virginity.
Rutherford: What? No, Billups loves his virginity. I mean, he loves being an engineer.

Nathan: You realize I've seen you in that crochete thing you wear, right?
Haley: Come on, this is embarrassing. I want you to think I'm not embarrassing.
Nathan: You don't embarrass me, Haley.
Haley: Oh, yeah, ok.
Nathan: Ok, I take that back.

Google revenge and you get BlairWaldorf.com.

Dan

David: So, do you like this suit?
Grant: Not really, but nobody seems to care what I like.

Jordan: Do you regret breaking up with him?
Olivia: No, it was inevitable. I just didn't expect it to fall apart that way.

Diana: Are you purposefully trying to make a fool of me?
Charlie: I told you, it was an emergency.
Diana: To hide from Max, your mysteriously reappeared ex. And do you think it seems a tad convenient that the only way to do that was to snog Nate?
Charlie: Look I don't know why Max is here. But if he finds me I could lose everything.