Alexis: I accidentally opened up a piece of Daniel's mail
Claire: Darling, given what we're dealing with I think Daniel is going to overlook that
Alexis: No he won't, it was a paternity test
Clarie: I don't understand
Alexis: Daniel isn't Daniel Jr's father... I am

Daniel: I'm sorry I tried to punch you
Alexis: I'm sorry you suck at fighting

Wilhelmina: By this time tomorrow, Daniel will be as out as ugg boots
Alexis: and I can't wait

Alexis: And no i didn't quit smoking, it's a hormone patch so the mustache doesn't grow back
Betty: Where'd you get that because I have to bleach all the time?

Wilhelmina: These gold pumps will not step foot in this building until I rule this magazine
Alexis: She's melodramatic isn't she?
Marc: Don't you love it?

Daniel: Maybe it wouldn't kill us to try and work together
Alexis: I'm up for it, as long as you stop staring at my boobs
Daniel: Actually I'm staring at your Adam's Apple, it's nice work

Alexis: It's complicated coming back from the dead
Wilhelmina: Oh please, Donna Karan does it every three years

[Alexis comes barging in during a Mode staff meeting...]
Alexis [screaming]: We have a big problem!
Daniel: Crazy time begins in an hour, we're having a meeting now

Bradford: So this is the life you wanted
Alexis: Actually in the life i wanted you were still behind bars
Bradford: In the life i wanted you were still a man

Alexis: You can have this magazine, I have a bigger dreams
Daniel: Like what? A uterus?

Alexis: If anything should ever happen to Nick, you're next in line.
Amanda: You mean like if he falls down the stairs?
Alexis: Actually I was thinking more like if he got married and moved away. But I like your ambition.

Alexis: What do I do?
Betty: I haven't told Daniel because i know your a good person Alexis. Right now you're the only person that can prove that

Ugly Betty Quotes

You know exactly what [Whilemnia] is up to. Firing, scheming, looking for a puppy to kick.

Betty

Betty: Does every spread have to be women in skimpy bras?
Daniel: You're right, I haven't thought of that. Let's lose those bras please.