Favorite Andy Bernard Quotes
Michael: Oh! Hey. What is this about?
Andy: Um, you know, cause your leaving and so, it's a farewell...
Michael: Oh.
Andy: I hope I get to work with you someday again.
Michael: Me too, me too. Is this wine?
Andy: Ah... busted. Yes.
Michael: I already have wine.
Andy: Oh.
Charles: In the last month we have lost ten major clients to Michael Scott.
Stanley: What are we supposed to do? They keep undercutting us on price.
Charles: I don't want to hear excuses. I want to see improvements. This is unacceptable.
Andy: Hey, Boss. Uh, I'd just like to point out that I have been here less time than these guys.
Charles: Why are you telling me this?
Andy: I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie.
Charles: Is this something you really want to have said?
Andy: I don't want to have said that. But I think it's important that you know it.
The fire is shooting at us!
[Andy leans in to kiss Julia]
Julia: Whoa. What the hell?
Andy: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh I, I thought we had this energy. And I'm a mess. And I just had my heart broken. And you came in today and your so pretty. You're, like, incredibly pretty.
Julia: I just got out of a relationship too. It's really hard.
Andy: Yeah, right? Wow. Yeah. Do you want to talk about it? Go to a mall of something? Just walk around?
Julia: No, I, I don't think so.
David: Dwight, come on now, it's time to put in the subs.
Charles: Yeah, it looks like Pam won't make it back. Okay?
Dwight: Okay. Fine.
Charles: All right! Come on.
Dwight: Except, you know what? It's not fine. How many people need to get hurt before we learn a valuable lesson? One? Two? Three? Four?
Andy: Dwight.
Dwight: No, no, hear me out. Five? Six?
David: Dwight.
Dwight: Seven? Can I finish please?
David: Okay.
Dwight: Eight?
Pam: You were way meaner to me than I was to you.
Andy: No I wasn't, okay? The very idea of us together made you burst out laughing like you just bit into an Adam Sandler jelly sandwich.
Creed: This gal, she's really into you?
Andy: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've seen her, like, three times today. And we love all the same music, and whenever I walk into a room, she totally looks up.
Creed: All right, all right. Say no more. So, this is how I got squeaky fromme. No small talk. Just show her who's the boss. Just go right in and kiss her.
Andy: Okay, it sounds risky.
Creed: Have I ever steered you wrong, Jim?
Andy: Wait, what?
We're getting married at Schrute Farms. No matter what. I have looked at 12 venues, I have lost eight deposits and I have seen Angela naked zero times. I am not losing another deposit.
Jim: Quick question — do you play the guitar?
Andy: I play the banjo.
Jim: Hold on, let me think about that...yes, that'll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?
Andy: [singing] You know I can, my man.
Manager: And I must say that since we are a family business it's nice to see that you are too.
Andy: Ohhhh! No. Wow. You thought that? Oh my gosh. Oh definitely not.
Manager: My mistake, I'm sorry.
Pam: It's okay.
Andy: Actually it's kind of not okay. I date models. Face models. My girlfriend, on a scale of one to Giselle, uh, a nine.
Manager: That's... that's good for you.
Pam: Anyway, we also have a special on-
Andy: Pam's carrying our surrogate. Because, my girlfriend needed to keep her figure for fashion week. So we, uh, we put our baby in Pam. Doesn't matter what Pam looks like.
Andy: You can't let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you. Every compliment has to be backhanded. 'Oh I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair.'
Pam: That's psychotic. Do guys actually do that?
Jim: Well guys with girlfriends don't.
Andy: That's low, Tuna.
You know, it's true what they say. Long Island iced teas are way stronger in Canada.
