Creed: I still have my medal from that.
Angela: Do you even have a mattress?
Creed: No, but I still have my medal from that.

Angela: The only people that need to be there are you and me.
Dwight: Oh and the old man to feed us the cheese that he's been fermenting since the day of my birth. You keep forgetting about him.

Oscar: Angela you still have your son.
Angela: I guess.

Angela: I bet she'll eat them right out of your hand with those big strong teeth.
Dwight: Did I tell you about her teeth?

Our house is not kid friendly. Most of our furniture is sharp. Also, eww.

Angela: Someone say something.
Stanley: I said something when they were thinking of hiring Jim. Didn't work then. Now look what he's doing to us.

Angela: Well I think it would be immoral for Erin to cheat on Andy.
Erin: Oh I'm sorry. Didn't you cheat on Andy?
Angela: Yes, and he didn't like it.

Angela: If you pray enough, you can turn yourself into a cat person.
Oscar: Those guys always turn back, Angela.

Trust you? The way Pam trusted you to provide for her so she wouldn't have to work?

Porcupines don't have souls. They're like dogs.

She just always has to copy anything I do. It's the Ford Taurus situation all over again.

Pam: He talked about himself in the third person?
Angela: Yes Pam, not everyone is as informal as you and Jim. Oh hey Pam, dude. Wanna marry me?

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael