I want pet day back. No dogs.

Pam: Why do you need to wear the holster at all?
Dwight: Why do you need to keep wearing those boobie shirts all the time?
Angela: Thank you.

Michael: Was it just me, or did you think we were going to have sex at some point?
Angela: It was just you.

Angela: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael: That would be hot. I would pay to see that.

Do you have any idea how many photographers there are at a ribbon cutting ceremony? I do. Two.

Pam: We're gonna need a loaves and fishes kind of miracle to feed them all.
Angela [to Pam]: Jesus is not your caterer.
Angela [to Cece]: But he should be your caterer, because you're a little angel. Why didn't your parents get you a caterer?

This is an amazing prize. I mean I don't even want to give Pam a compliment because she's so blehhh, but she did a good job. I really want that coupon book.

[to Dwight] I'm going to own your farm by the time this is over.

Michael: Right here, we have the wonder twins, Jim and Pam Halpert. They will be assisting you today.
Donna: You look exactly alike!
Pam: Oh, no! We're actually married, we're not brother and sister.
Donna: I have a sense about these things.
Jim: Alright!
Donna: You have some ancestors in common... somewhere back!
Angela: I knew it! You should see their baby.

Angela: You embarrassed me earlier.
Erin: Take it up with the chief of police.
Angela: Do you think I want people remembering I had sensual relations with Andy? It's the kind of thing you wish you could have annulled. I want to throw up just thinking about it.
Erin: I want to think about it just thinking about it!
Angela: You are throwing up for the wrong reasons.

Dwight: That is an amusing link. I'd like it sent to me please.
Kevin: Angela, this is inappropriate.
Angela: This is my favorite day!

Yes, I am anxious to get out of work. But let me be clear, it's not to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. It's so I can protest St. Patrick's Day.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael