Karen: Uh, so I had a couple of ideas to make the Stamford people feel more at home. Each year we have a Christmas raffle...
Angela: It would never work here.
Karen: Okay...um, another idea was karaoke...
Angela: No.
Karen: A Christmas drinking game...
Meredith: YES.
Angela: God help you!

Angela: OK, we only have three hours people to plan a whole luau, and you're not helping.
Karen: What are the ingredients of poi?
Phyllis: I called every grocery store in Scranton, and no one sells whole pigs.
Angela: Did you try the petting zoo?

Kevin: Angela.
Angela: What?
Kevin: That was a voicemail that corporate left last night. They did not get our tax forms. Did you send them?
Angela: They arrived this morning.
Kevin: Are you sure? It is a big deal.
Angela: Is it a big deal? Is it Kevin?
Kevin: ... Do you really not know? Because it is a big deal.

Angela: Hey Pam. Would you like to go with me to grab a coffee?
Pam: Really?
Angela: Yeah, I could use some fresh air. Might be fun.
Pam: Ok. Sure.
Angela: Ok.

Andy: What's the deal with Dwight doing your laundry?
Michael: Ugh... that is a long story. Um, couple of months ago, Dwight tried to go behind my back with Jan and get my job and I am now having him do my laundry as punishment.
Andy: Wow, that is a long story, but quite well told, Michael. I find it very interesting. Especially about the part Dwight going behind your back and basically, like, being a terrible person. You know if you want your laundry done right? I used to work at Abercrombie. So, pretty good folder.

Angela: Oscar? I have a question. Would you like to join the party planning committee?
Oscar: The one of all women?
Angela: Yeah.
Oscar: Because I'm gay?
Angela: No. No. Certain events have transpired. And I've thought about certain things. And I'm sorry for the way those certain events transpired.

Angela: Congratulations, Phyllis. You look lovely. Your dress is very white. So white, my eyes are burning.
Phyllis: Thanks Angela.

Pam: Hey guys, we're all gonna visit Meredith at lunch. And we're kicking in $5 for flowers.
Kevin: Who's we, you and Jim?
Pam: No, uh, me Stanley and Phyllis so far.
Kevin: Oh, I bet Jim goes too.
Pam: Yeah, I haven't asked him yet.
Kevin: Oh, I bet you ask?
Pam: I was planning on it.
Kevin: I bet you were.
Angela: Subtle.

Angela: Hey D.
Dwight: Hey monkey, what's up?
Angela: Can you do me a little favor? Go to my place at lunch and give Sprinkles her medicine.
Dwight: Sure.
Angela: I have to visit the alchy.
Dwight: Check to see if she's faking. If a car hit me, it wouldn't crack my pelvis. You know what; I bet she cracked it at home. Jumped in front of the car to get some workers comp.
Angela: I wouldn't put it past her.

Dwight: So what do you need me to do?
Angela: I wrote it out.
Dwight: Mm-hmm.
Angela: There's a diabetes shot, roll the insulin in your hand, don't shake it. She gets an ace inhibitor with her meal, but you have to put her right in front of the dish or she won't see it because of the cataracts. Mix one capsule of omega fatty acid in with her kidney medicine, um... and you want to give that to her 15 minutes after she's eaten. And, oh and there's a fungal cream because she has this infection under her tail, so you're gonna have to lift her tail and put the cream right at the base of her tail.

It's not a surprise to me. Pam is the office mattress.

Dwight: Are you enjoying your vegetarian noodles?
Angela: Very much. How's your meat?
Dwight: Dry. Delicious.
Angela: I heard a joke today.
Dwight: Oh, that's funny.
Angela: Yes, it was.
Dwight: Are you enjoying your mineral water?
Angela: I can't do this. I can't be with you. Every time I look in your eyes I see Sprinkles' stiff lifeless body.

The Office Quotes

Pam: So I closed the door but the image of his...
Jim: Baquette.
Pam: ... dangling participle...
Jim: Eww.
Pam: ... still burned in my eyes.
Jim: I can imagine.

Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman, Fast Car. And my personal favorite, Short People.

Darryl