NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Ziva: I remember my first fight. I was eight. Shmuel Rubinstein.
Tony: Sounds like a real stud.
Ziva: One punch and it was over.
Tony: What did poor Shmuel do to deserve the wrath of Ziva?
Ziva: He said he liked me.
Doug: Stop talking to me like that.
Tony: Stop lying to me like that.
[to Ziva] Think about it. First you had your little Miami vice, now Prince Albert in a can. Oh, they can't help it. You're just a walking Israeli love machine.
Tony: Tell me. What can I do? What do you need?
Ziva: Revenge.
Gibbs: The plane's missing.
Tony: It's been Kai-jacked!
Ziva: Did you really just say that?
Tony: I regret it already.
McGee, stroke my plumage.
(in an "anchorman" voice) In a tragic story of obsessive hobbying turned deadly, an NCIS Agent was discovered in his basement crushed between a large, homemade boat and an even larger bottle of bourbon. Film at eleven!
Deena Bashan: Why should she have the man that she loves when she took mine from me?
Tony: I'm going to find her.
Deena Bashan: Ziva is gone Agent DiNozzo. When she left me that night she was not the same person.
Ziva: DiNozzo, pull it together.
Tony: Kids. This is way above my pay grade. I spent the afternoon in a child care clinic when I almost lost my life.
Ziva: Stop stop stop stop. We're doing the director a favor, okay? We just need to be here, we need to be normal. Can you just please do that for a few hours?
Tony: Sure. Fine.
Ziva: Fine.
Tony: Only because you asked nicely.
McGee: If you don't like my rules you can find someone else to drive you in.
Tony: All I wanted was to stop for coffee. I was willing to treat.
McGee: No one eats or drinks in my car.
Tony: Well I guess sex is out of the question.
Tony: Well hey there Speedy Gonzales huh? You almost killed Marlon from accounting.
Ziva: I'm sorry Tony. I'm still getting used to how this thing drives.
Tony: The world is still getting used to how you drive.
Ziva: And what do you know about the American Dream?
Tony: I'm a white male between the ages of 18 and 49 with a gun. I AM the American Dream.
