McGee: You and Zoe broke up?
Tony: You heard.
McGee: Why didn't you tell me?
Tony: Well the break-up bug's going around. Didn't want you to catch it.

Trust us, Bishop. The Abby dating world is a vortex you do not want to get sucked into. Sometimes it's complicated. Just let Abby be Abby.

Tony: I got it. You dumped Jake.
McGee: Like a hot potato.
Tony: Dumped him.

Ziva: Bah hum-bog.
Tony: What?

Gibbs: DiNozzo - check out Olivia Chandler.
Tony: With pleasure. Thank you boss.

Asabe Dawson: Why couldn't he have just let the man have the money?
Tony: He's still a Marine, even on leave.

McGee: Just so you know, I donated a bunch of my stuff last week. Stuff that was important to me.
Delilah: More important than my stuff, or more important than us?
Tony: That's a trap.

Man I wish I could have seen Rivera's face when Gibbs laid the smack down. You think he had a little chin quiver going on? I love a good bad guy chin quiver.

Spoiler alert, Heisenberg. It doesn't end well for you.

Tony: Well, you're off on your own, Ziva. I'm already enlightened. I know exactly where I am. It may not be pretty, but I am DiNozzo. Hear me roar.
Ziva: Like an elephant.

Tony: He made a run for it. Drew on him but I couldn't pull the trigger. You would have had him on the ground in two seconds flat. Taken out a leg or shot him in the ass.
Gibbs: Well. You followed your gut.

Tony: So he pulls me into his office and I think he's going to chew me out for that thing I said about his hair, right? But no. He wants to know if I think he's being doing an okay job.
McGee: The deputy is no Director Vance, that's for sure.

NCIS Quotes

Ducky: Forgive me, Mr. Palmer, but I can’t resist the urge to give you one of my all-time favorite pieces of advice: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.