Popular Ari Gold Quotes
I thought you already were his manager. Because believe me I would not put up with this much shit from anyone who wasn't.
Ari: You deal with talent the same way that you deal with women. You have to make them believe that they need you more then you need them.
Eric: He doesn't need me that much.
Ari: Of course he doesn't need you. You're fucking worthless. I could get a million morons to come in here and do the job. That's not the point.
Eric: Then what is the point, Ari?
Ari: The point is that he is an insecure fuck, like all beautiful-but-handed-everything-on-a-silver-platter people. He doesn't trust anyone in this world but you. You've been born into royalty baby. You know it. Now you just gotta be thankful, and wear the crown.
Ari: From now on ask my permission before you bang one of my assistants.
Eric: How'd you know that?
Ari: 'Cause I know all. And I could have told you that this would end badly. Now I gotta go fire her so you don't feel weird.
Eric: No. Don't fire her.
Ari: All right. Well, I'll just sexually harass her until she quits.
Eric: You know what, I don't even have health insurance.
Ari Gold: Yeah, but I bet you had it over at Quiznos.
Eric: Sbarro's. And I had a business card.
Ari Gold: There you go.
Before he did Born on the 4th of July, Tom Cruise did Top Gun. Hanks fucked the fish before he did Forrest Gump.
Ari: I thought the girlfriend was still in play.
Vince Aww, bad time of the month to come home.
Ari: Oh, you're like me.
Eric: Oh yea, how so?
Ari: I won't even fuck my wife after she plays tennis.
Aquaman baby!! It is Spider-man, under water. BOOM
Ok. Here's an offer for you to star in a new Olsen twins movie. It's a love triangle in which little Mary Kate and Ashley use you as an experiment to see if you can actually tell if they are two separate, distinct people. This would be mildly amusing if the producer didn't think he had a realistic shot of getting you.
Yeah, and I want to fuck Angelina Jolie. The only difference is, I might actually have a shot
Vince: Go easy on him, he's having a rough day.
Ari: What's wrong, E, what happened?
Vince: He's not getting any.
Ari: Oh no. You kidding me? Want me to get Lloyd in here and have him hari kari you with his pecker?
Ari: I have a lunch meeting with Dana Gordon.
Eric: Well, should I be there?
Ari: No. Unless you want to pull up her car or get us some sort of creme brule
I gotta know what you think, so I can get you to think what I think.
