Ben Wyatt Quotes
Leslie: Yes. I know exactly when we should do it. Post-pizza, pre-ice cream, between his third and fourth beer. He'll be full but not stuffed. Tipsy but not drunk. Should be around nine.
Ben: OK. So you've thought this through.
Ben: Should we throw in some salads for a healthy option?
Tom: Wow, don't be such a Jerry, Ben.
Leslie: Yeah, Ben. These guys are cops. Not ballerinas.
Ben: What's going on?
Leslie: Some guy handcuffed himself to a pipe in my office because we wouldn't put a copy of Twilight in the time capsule.
Ben: Damn it. Again?
Ben: I got you some waffles here courtesy of J.J.'s Diner. And chicken soup courtesy of me.
Leslie: I'll take the waffles.
That was amazing. That was a flu-ridden Michael Jordan at the '97 NBC FInals. That was Kirk Gibson hobbling up to the plate and hitting a homer off of Dennis Eckersley. That was... that was Leslie Knope.
Ben: Newspaper headline was "Ice Town costs ice clown his town crown."
Leslie: Yuck.
Ben: They were big into rhymes.
Ben: That's right, you were coming here tonight on a date. And hey, Leslie is joining you on this wonderfully romantic occasion. How about that?
Chris: Fantastic!
Ben: Apparently in Indiana if you don't provide a basketball league, people get very upset. And quite frankly throw things at you and call you names. Like Turd boy? Whatever. Point is I reinstated youth basketball.
Leslie: This says here you only have money for two teams?
Ben: Yeah, they're going to develop a great rivalry.
Ben: Every department's losing a Leslie Knope.
Ron: No, Ben. They are not. No other department has one to begin with. Right now, she's single-handedly putting up some lousy concert for this city's kids.
Ron: Sell the zoo animals.
Ben: OK, to whom?
Ron: Cosmetics labs, weird restaurants. I'm just spitballin' here.
Ben: We need to cut expenditures by 32 percent.
Ron: Let's make it an even 40.
Leslie: That is not your call.
Ben: I know, it's on your badge.
