Parks & Rec Quotes

Ann: Chris is donating blood four times a week.
Andy: Ah, good for you man. Who are you giving it to? Just kind of whoever wants it, trade with the Postmates guy kind of thing.
Ann: I used to date that guy.
Chris: Oh no, Andy, the CDC asked me to donate because I am extremely healthy. My red blood cells are so big, you can see them with the naked eye. They’re like cherry Froot Loops. And my blood type is just positive.
Ann: They’ve designated him a super healer. So far, it’s just Megan Rapinoe, him, and a panther at the Miami Zoo.

When I'm done eating a Mulligan's meal, for weeks afterwards, there are flecks of meat in my mustache. And I refuse to clean it because every now and then a piece of meat will fall into my mouth.