Carmela: (on Meadow) There has to be consequences. What kind of parents would we be if we let her get away with this?
Tony: Typical.

Carmela: Tony, we can't just throw your sister out.
Tony: Why not?
Carmela: It wouldn't be Christian.
Tony: See? This shit works out. She's Buddhist.

(to Father Phil) I think you have this MO where you manipulate spiritually thirsty women and I think a lot of it is tied up with food some how, as well as the sexual tension game.

You know what I think Father, I think that you like the-I don't know what to call it-the whiff of sexuality that never goes anyplace.

(to Tony) All it takes is a half of a woman's thigh to get your ass out of bed. What am I, a fucking idiot? If I had an ounce of self-respect I would cut your dick off.

Carmela: Anthony, what does a gentleman do for a lady?
A.J.: In his own house?!

Carmela: What if something should happen?
Tony: You dig out my blue suit, you call up old man Coletti, and tell him not to put too much makeup on my face.

You know Tony, it's a multiple choice thing with you. I can't tell if you're old-fashioned, paranoid, or just a fucking asshole.

Carmela: Look at you at girls soccer, Tony.
Tony: What do you want from me? My only son's a couch potato.

Uncle Junior: I don't go down often enough.
Carmela: That's not what I hear.

Livia Soprano: (to A.J.) Come over here, say a hail mary for your grandfather.
Uncle Junior: Lay off, he's a kid.
Livia Soprano: So he should neglect his elders, just like his father?
Uncle Junior: Yeah, real scamp.
Livia Soprano: My son, the mental patient.

Livia: (on Tony) Did he cheat on you again?
Carmela: I try to do something nice. I come here to take you out. Right away you think I have some other agenda that I have to talk to you about. Don't flatter yourself.

The Sopranos Quotes

Junior: A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "why?" Doctor said, "you have a cataract." Chinaman says, "no, I have a Rincoln Continental." (short pause) You don't get it?
Bobby: I get it. He drives a Lincoln Continental. What?

I stick motherfucking provolone in my socks at night so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning! All right? So leave the fucking, cocksucking cheese where it is!