Carmela: (on Meadow) There has to be consequences. What kind of parents would we be if we let her get away with this?
Tony: Typical.

Carmela: Tony, we can't just throw your sister out.
Tony: Why not?
Carmela: It wouldn't be Christian.
Tony: See? This shit works out. She's Buddhist.

(to Father Phil) I think you have this MO where you manipulate spiritually thirsty women and I think a lot of it is tied up with food some how, as well as the sexual tension game.

You know what I think Father, I think that you like the-I don't know what to call it-the whiff of sexuality that never goes anyplace.

(to Tony) All it takes is a half of a woman's thigh to get your ass out of bed. What am I, a fucking idiot? If I had an ounce of self-respect I would cut your dick off.

Carmela: Anthony, what does a gentleman do for a lady?
A.J.: In his own house?!

Carmela: What if something should happen?
Tony: You dig out my blue suit, you call up old man Coletti, and tell him not to put too much makeup on my face.

You know Tony, it's a multiple choice thing with you. I can't tell if you're old-fashioned, paranoid, or just a fucking asshole.

Carmela: Look at you at girls soccer, Tony.
Tony: What do you want from me? My only son's a couch potato.

Uncle Junior: I don't go down often enough.
Carmela: That's not what I hear.

Livia Soprano: (to A.J.) Come over here, say a hail mary for your grandfather.
Uncle Junior: Lay off, he's a kid.
Livia Soprano: So he should neglect his elders, just like his father?
Uncle Junior: Yeah, real scamp.
Livia Soprano: My son, the mental patient.

Livia: (on Tony) Did he cheat on you again?
Carmela: I try to do something nice. I come here to take you out. Right away you think I have some other agenda that I have to talk to you about. Don't flatter yourself.

The Sopranos Quotes

Junior: A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "why?" Doctor said, "you have a cataract." Chinaman says, "no, I have a Rincoln Continental." (short pause) You don't get it?
Bobby: I get it. He drives a Lincoln Continental. What?

(to Junior) Remember the story you told me about the father bull talking to the son. They're up on this hill and looking down on a bunch of cows. And the son goes to the father, "Dad, why don't we run down there and fuck one of these cows?" Now do you remember what the father said? Father says, "Son, why don't we walk down there and fuck them all?"