(on being 'made') I deserve it. Got no spleen, Gene!

Christopher

Tony: I had a dream I fucked your brains out. Right on that desk, and you loved it.
Dr. Melfi: Well, you threw that at me like a rock.

Skip: I know. I know. Tony is your best friend.
Big Pussy: President Franklin is my best friend and he's in [the envelope].

Guys... not the face?

Big Pussy

Carmela: Your father is sick.
Meadow: Oh, my God, daddy. What happened?
Carmela: He went to an Indian restaurant.
Meadow: That is so racist.

Dr. Melfi: So who's your friend? Pussy?
Tony: I'm confused.
Dr. Melfi: Is Pussy your friend?
Tony: Yeah.
Dr. Melfi: But that's the friend who was almost carried off by the ducks, right?
Tony: When you say pussy do you mean my friend Pussy or do you mean pussy?
Dr. Melfi: Whatever seems to be dominating your thoughts.
Tony: I got pussy on the brain. I always do.

(to Richie) Those who want respect, give respect.

Tony

(on Richie) I genuinely don't think there's anything to gain by keeping him around.

Silvio

(Tony mentions he's breaking it off with Irina)
Dr. Melfi: I'm interested in why you're ending it.
Tony: What do you mean why? Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Aren't you telling me that all the time in here?
Dr. Melfi: I don't think I've ever passed judgment on your sex life or any patient's sex life.

Janice: What did you do with...[Richie's body]?
Tony: (deadpan) We buried him... on a hill... overlooking a little river... with pine cones all around.
Janice: You did?
Tony: (irritated) Come on, Janice! What the fuck do you care what we did with him?

You're putting me in a position where I'm feeling sorry for a whore who fucks you?! You know what's even stranger-for a second I believed you.

Carmela

Tony: What is that?
Irina: Chicken Soup for the Soul.
Tony: You should read Tomato Sauce for your Ass. It's the Italian version.

The Sopranos Quotes

Junior: A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "why?" Doctor said, "you have a cataract." Chinaman says, "no, I have a Rincoln Continental." (short pause) You don't get it?
Bobby: I get it. He drives a Lincoln Continental. What?

Dr. Melfi: What's the one thing every woman - your mother, your wife, your daughter - have in common?
Tony: They all break my balls. No, I know what you mean. They're all Italian. So what?
Dr. Melfi: So maybe by coming clean with me you're dialoguing with them.