Chandler Bing Quotes
Eddie: You know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow. (He leaves the room)
Chandler: (Mouthing) Thank you!
Eddie: I heard that!
Eddie: I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot feistier than the last one.
Chandler: Yeah, maybe because the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm!
Chandler: Get out now.
Eddie: You really want me out?
Chandler: Yes, please.
Eddie: Okay. Do you really want me out? I want you to say it: you want me out.
Chandler: I want you out!
Eddie: No, no, no. I want to hear you from your lips.
Chandler: Where do you hear it from before?
Chandler: Get out. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out!
Eddie: What?
Chandler: You. Move out! Take your fruit. Your stupid small fruit and get out!
Eddie: You want me to move out?
Chandler: Uh huh.
Eddie: I gotta tell you man, that's kind of out of the blue. Don't you think?
Chandler: This is not out of the blue. This is smack-dab in the middle of the blue!
Chandler: So, you want me to help you unpack your stuff?
Joey: No, no, I'm okay. Oh and, uh, just so you know, I'm not moving back in because I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is...
Chandler: Welcome home, man.
Chandler: Do you remember talking to me yesterday?
Eddie: Yes.
Chandler: So what happened?
Eddie: We took a road trip to Las Vegas, man.
Chandler: (Waking up to find Eddie sitting near his bed) Hey Eddie. Ah! What are you doing here?
Eddie: Nothing roomy, just watching you sleep.
Chandler: Why?
Eddie: Makes me feel, um, peaceful, heh heh, please.
Chandler: I can't sleep now.
Eddie: You want me to sing?
Tilly: I'm Tilly.
Chandler: Oh.
Tilly: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
Chandler: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
Chandler: (About Eddie) So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes.
Monica: Why?
Chandler: Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend, and killed his fish.
Phoebe: Why would you kill his fish?
Chandler: Because sometimes, Phoebe, after you sleep with someone... you have to kill a fish.
Rachel: So what happens next?
Joey: Well, I get the medical award for separating the Siamese twins, then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half brother "Ramon" and that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big, but it's cursed.
Chandler: God, that is good TV!
Chandler: Eddie, I didn't sleep with your ex-girlfriend.
Eddie: That's very interesting, ya know, 'cause that's exactly what someone who slept with her would say.
So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets?
