You look like Superman.

Dee [to Dennis]

Dee [to Dennis]: What in God's name have you done to your face?
Mac: You look like a monster.

It was weird that they were Asian.

I say we bum rush her and choke her out with her own belt.

If you shush me one more time I will put you underground!

Dee [to old black lady]

Is anybody online the real person they say they are?

Things are about to get real dark, real fast, Frank.

Drinking IS the game.That's the whole point of it.

Kill the machines!

Don't make me do it Cricket. I will slice you in half!

Frank: When it's white people, it's surviving. When it's black people, it's looting.
Dee: No Frank. It's because the white people are stealing bread and the black people are stealing speakers.

He was probably down here with Mac watching you rape girls and eating pickled eggs.

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Charlie: I'll totally pull a Good Will Hunting on those kids and that'll put them in their place.
Mac: How you gonna do that?
Charlie: Well, you've seen the movie right?
Mac: Yeah.
Charlie: So all I gotta do is, I'll ask them some big shot, like math or science, history-type college question aand that will totally stump them by knowing a lot more about the answer than they do.
Mac: In that movie, Matt Damon played a genius janitor, you're just a janitor.
Charlie: Right, you stumped me with that one.

Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.