Favorite Dwight Schrute Quotes
Creed: That is "Northern Lights". Cannabis indica.
Dwight: [sighs] No, it's marijuana.
Just once, I'd like to be a puppet master and have nothing go wrong. Is that too much to ask?
You're a perfectly fine toilet. I'm just an extraordinary piece of crap.
Michael: I have dibs. Do you respect dibs?
Dwight: (scoffs) I'm not a barbarian.
Normally I don't condone leaving early, but I have an appointment with the horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor, I don't know. [laughs] No, I'm kidding. He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken.
I'm not in your panties, I don't go vigilantes.
I hitched my wagon to a horse with no legs.
Rolph is my best friend. We met in a shoe store. I heard him asking for a shoe that could increase his speed and not leave any tracks.
Congratulations on your one cousin. I have 70, each one better than the last.
I'm ravenous after a night of love making.
We figured out your goal. I'm gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen.
Bread is the paper of the food industry. You write your sandwich on it.
