Popular Dwight Schrute Quotes
[on cell phone] Yes, I repeat a drug dealer is on the premisis of Dunder Mifflin. His name is Toby Flenderson and he recently returned from a mysterious vacation in Central America. I have risked a great deal to tell you this information. My name is Andy Bernard. Andrew Bernard, that's my name. See you soon.
[to Michael] You know, I really would've appreciated a heads up that you were into dating mothers. I would've introduced you to mine.
Dwight: I have a girlfriend.
Jim: Sure you do.
You been with a blonde before? It's the big leagues.
Oh my God, it's the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate and cuddle up with Poppa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams? Hmmm? It's not even real snow. Look it's dusting. Pitiful.
You can make it in 30 minutes if you drive 240 miles an hour.
Andy: What do you think of Angela?
Dwight: I think she's efficient.
Andy: No, not like that, as a woman. W-O-M-A-N.
Dwight: I hadn't noticed.
Andy: You hadn't noticed she's a woman?
I'm ravenous after a night of love making.
Your friend Neil Patrick Harris really made me laugh the other night.
Dwight: Somebody attack me. Kevin, Go!
Kevin: No WAY. Last time, you pulled my pants down and then you tried to choke me with my shoelace.
Dwight: False. I DID choke you with your shoelace.
Michael: I need to know who else is gay. I don't want to offend anyone else.
Dwight: You could assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive.
Michael: Yeah. I'm sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they were gay.
Michael: I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim: Oh, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.
Michael: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael: What?
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael: That's a dog.
Pam: No, that's afghan.
Michael: That's a shawl.
Dwight: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael: No, humans with AIDS.
Creed: Who has AIDS?
