Emerson Cod Quotes
If you can't hold it, go cry in the bathroom, sit on the toilet and do it. Like a man.
Emerson: I'm a father.
Ned: As in a priest?
Emerson: As in a man... with a daughter.
We are giant, enormous idiots. And don't you say "gi-normous" because that ain't a word
Coroner: My niece gave me this sweater.
Emerson: That thing’s uglier then a chipmunk’s ass.
Ned: He means the sweater, not your niece.
Emerson: Why would somebody give somebody a Christmas sweater for Christmas? You can only wear it that day.
Ned: He means should. Only wear it that day.
Emerson: Yeah. Either you got to take off what you got on to put it on. Or you got wait another year for the next holiday season.
Coroner; Why are you going toe-to-toe with me on fashion?
The relationship between a father and his daughter is tenuous. It's very fragile. It could take a life time to sort out all the issues there. And what you think? You can just all "happily ever after" after just one minute? Man, you a dreamer.
Well, that idea might make a stupid idea feel better about itself.
I mean it's a broad generalization, but my guess is that an attractive man who makes pies for a living shouldn't even spend a short amount of time in prison.
Emerson: So whoever killed Billy is walking around with nine fingers thinking they got away with murder.
Chuck: Mm-hmmm. Footloose and finger-free.
The truth ain’t like puppies, a bunch of them running around, you pick your favorite. One truth… and it has come a knockin’.
Oh no, see, this is how it all ends. Some weird guy comes in saying stuff that don’t make no sense. And by the time your head realizes “Hey, this weird guy makes no sense,” your guts are all over the window.
You ain’t lying. The only way you’re lying is if she asks the question, (imitates Chuck) “Hey, did you kill my father when you brought your mother back, which I didn’t know about because you never told me?” (normal voice) Don’t tell her.
