We'll start from scratch. You and me. We'll build a home together.

Paige's dad used to be a general. Our dad, Hank, used to be in the general population.

I really like it when you crack the fiscal rip. As it were. I think it's sexy.

Whoa, I'm a little offended right now that you're not cursing at me---in Italian.

So when's the wedding Henry? And am I even invited?

Do you ever use an accent when you're speaking?

Evan: Come on, Bro! Just give me the Cliffs Notes.
Hank: The Cliffs Notes just aren't available on this one right now!

Well I'm sorry, then you're fired.

Alright, you're not an alien.

We aren't gonna live on Saturn?


Fido and Payload, sitting in a tree...

Or were you just a little hefty?

Royal Pains Quotes

Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.


Note to self, become a doctor.