I am a winter nymph! I love the snow! Hooray America! (he passes out in the snow)

Nothing says Christmas like a big green Grinch ass!

Donna: Where's Buddy?
Eric: Oh, Buddy! Um. Well, Buddy got busy, so...
Jackie: I mean, I'm sure he has a lot to do. He is "popular."
Fez: Yes and so obviously gay!
Jackie: Buddy is not gay!
Kelso: Please, Fez. That's just stupid! If Buddy was gay he would have been all over me!

My God, with a car like that, you must be knee-deep in whores.

Fez: Goodbye, Eric, I am going home now.
Eric: No, Fez! You haven't met grandma!
Fez: Oh, hello, grandma! (He sees her feet) Oh! In my village we worship feet. And these dogs are a holy treasure.

(Donna leaves after finding out that Eric kissed Laurie's friend, Kate)
Kelso: I guess Donna didn't take it very well.
Red: Take what well?
Kelso: Eric made out with Kate.
Red: Anything else?
Fez: Your son is a whore!

Red: Kelso, stop saying "porno."
Kelso: I didn't say it, Mr. Forman, Fez did.
Fez: You are a bitch.

Oh no, Dick Tracy is trapped in a giant clam! Farewell sweet Dick!

Fez: I am telling you. I heard it. The devil is singing backwards on the record!
Hyde: It's not the devil, man! It's congress. They passed a secret law to put backward messages in our records, man! They wanna kill rock 'n roll because they know it makes us horny, man!
Eric: Doesn't pretty much everything make us horny? (stuffs a Twinkie in his mouth)
Kelso: Cartoons make me horny! Oh, and food!

(playing a KISS record backwards)
Mr. Erdman: There it is!... Devil loved me, Devil lives! It's clear as day! (Fez laughs) What's funny?
Fez: In my language, the record just said, 'I want to sex your monkey!'...Which I have never done!

Fez: Kelso is my friend, I cannot take his woman.
Hyde: You're a good man, Fez.
Fez: Actually, I could take his woman, but I won't.

Where's my toast, you idiots?!

That 70's Show Quotes

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Kitty: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
Red: Out of town.
Kitty: How do you know?
Red: I told them not to.