Ricky: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Eric: Fatso Burger.
Fez: Covered in gold chains!
Kelso: Rock star. No, a movie star No, wait. Yeah. Rock star.
Hyde: Prison.

Ricky: Tell me, what do you consider your best quality?
Eric: Well, I'm a real people person.
Hyde: I don't answer stupid questions.
Fez: I speak Dutch.
Kelso: My eyes. Oh, and I guess my butt too.

(talking about how "whipped" Kelso is, imitating Jackie's voice)
Hyde: Michael, call me at 8:00.
Eric: Michael, do your Chico impression.
Fez: Michael, rub oil on my thighs while I spank you.
(Kelso, Hyde, and Eric all look at Fez, surprised)
Fez: Please, someone else talk now.

Fez: She [Jackie] will crush him [Kelso], yes?
Hyde: Like the spirit of your Mayan forefathers.
Fez (laughing): My forefathers were not Mayan.
Hyde: Like anyone cares.

Hyde: I'm going to write an awesome slogan like "I hate the fuzz" on my ass!
Fez: If you hate the fuzz on your ass, why don't you just shave it off?

All this food for 45 cents? It is unbelievable! (He takes a bite of his food, then pushes away his tray) Oh...I see.

</i> Fez

Kelso: Hey, Eric, maybe she's going to give you the big gift. You know, the big gift. You guys know what I'm talking about, right?
Hyde: Yes, Kelso. We got it. Then, we got it.
Fez: I'm not even from here, and I got it.

(Laurie is folding clothes in the basement; she bends over)
Fez: Holy Mother!
Kelso (nervously): Hello, Laurie.
Laurie: Hello, Kelso, Hyde.
Fez: Who's the goddess?
Kelso: The goddess is Eric's sister.
Hyde: She's not a goddess, she's more the earth mother whore type, which works for me.

Kelso: Jackie's good for gas money.
Eric: You are such a whore.
Fez: When does the boat get here, whore?

Fez: I, too, must go to the bathroom. Eric?
Eric: No, it doesn't work that way with guys.

I might not say this right because I am new to English, but she has tremendous breasts, yes?

That 70's Show Quotes

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Kitty: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
Red: Out of town.
Kitty: How do you know?
Red: I told them not to.