(to Bill) Your wife is a stinking filthy liar and should wash her mouth out with soap.

I wanna splurge for my honeys. Find a Holiday Inn Express.

What the f#$* is up with all these birds, Lois?

(to Lois)I told you I'd be here just as quick as a cricket.

Frank [to Joey]: I'll have some beans there, Fumbles.
Wanda: I told you, old man, you lay off Joey or else.
Frank: Or else what?
Wanda: Or else I'll finish the job someone else started: I'll kill you!

What are you being over-protective of her for? She's like one of Roman's Humvees, you know. The woman is a tank!

Big Love Quotes

Sarah: Why can't we just hire a babysitter like everyone else?
Barb: Because we're not everyone else

Margene: Does that mean you miss me more?
Bill: Officially... I miss you guys all the same.