Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

Bobby: You need to go hit it and quit it.
Andy: Toot it and boot it.
Laurie: Whip it and skip it.
Bobby: Wax it and tax it.
Andy: Mother it and smother it.
Laurie: Bop it and drop it.
Grayson: Chuck it and ... re-chuck it.
Laurie: Yours don't make any sense.

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.

Jules: All together now -
Everyone: If it's on the internet, it must be true!
Jules: Exactly now, everyone sip please.
Travis: Afternoon booze bags. What are we celebrating now?
Jules: Science.

Jules: Wine in the morning on the weekends. Lets all think about it people.
Bobby: Think about what?
Grayson: Morning drinking.

Jules: Grayson and I are like pools - we're still just sticking our toes in each other. Grossest thing I ever said.
Grayson: I'm gonna go throw up.

Grayson: Wow! That was insane. He was literally sitting on my face!
Jules: He's never had much feeling in his butt.

Jules: Whinny baby say what?
Grayson: What?

Grayson: When women get older, it's icky. When men get older, it's adorable. It's my favorite double standard.
Jules: Yeah, I'm not a huge fan.

Oh god, I have heart burn in my brain.

Grayson: Why do you keep doing this if you know I hate it?
Jules: You just answered your own question.

Ellie: Imaginary hat.
Grayson: Imaginary clown nose.

Cougar Town Quotes

Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.