Jenna: Jack, can we talk, one ten to another?
Jack: I'm an eleven, but continue.

I needed to unite the room around a common enemy and Ed Begley Jr. wasn't available because the sail on his car broke.

Kenneth's been out there for an hour telling cleaned-up Garrison Keillor stories.

Liz: It's like on TV. It used to be you couldn't say crap, then they let that slide and now we can say whatever we want. Douchebag. Asswipe.
Jack: Anal rot.
Liz: Exactly.

A room full of rich people can...change the world.

Next week Jay-Z was going to do a duet with one of the spinning chairs from The Voice, and the chair just pulled out.

They're called Spanx!

We'll trick those race car-loving wide loads into loving your, watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet!

She keeps confusing me with this ridiculous notion that sex and love are somehow connected.

Jack: Conan, Tracy's really excited to be back on your show.
Conan: I don't know. He's kind of a loose cannon, and I like to surround myself with people who don't try to stab me.

Jack: You should get to know Devon, tell him all of your television ideas. You know he started off as page just like you.
Kenneth: Really? So did I!

I brought you back from the dead, and revived your career.

30 Rock Quotes

Jenna: How do nice people dress?
Tracy: Socks on their hands, no belt, roller skates.

I don't have bed bugs, Kenneth. I went to Princeton.

Jack