Jenna: Jack, can we talk, one ten to another?
Jack: I'm an eleven, but continue.

Jack: Deborah is testing off the charts in the most profitable demographics: Soccer moms, NASCAR dads, white collar pervs and the obese.

[on conference call] You think I didn't hear that? I can hear your hair growing on that thing.

Jack: We are lovers.
Liz: Uhh that word bums me out unless it's between the words meat and pizza.

Liz: What's going on, business got ya down?
Jack: Business doesn't get me down, business gets me off.

I have a betting system based on horse penis size.

We brought good things to life. And bad things to Chinese rivers.

Just to know she's filled with bile over me warms my heart.

I once pants-ed Deepak Chopra while Craig T. Nelson taped it. I don't meditate.

For four years I've had to make do with what passes for men around here, with their untucked shirts, boneless faces, their Stars, both Wars and Trek.

Jack: So, how did it go.
Liz: He moved in with me.
Jack: Well, of course he did.

Jack: Your evaluation gave me pause.
Pete: Are you sure? Those look like hands to me.

30 Rock Quotes

Jenna: Jack, can we talk, one ten to another?
Jack: I'm an eleven, but continue.

I never even taught him how to shave...an orangutan.

Tracy