Jack Donaghy Quotes
Kenneth: I'm glad I'm not a white man, Mr. Donaghy... Is Spongebob Squarepants supposed to be terrifying?
Jack: You're darn right he is, Kenneth.
Kenneth: There's a whole channel on the cable that just tells you what's on the other channels!
Jack: I know, Kenneth. It's okay.
Liz: I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider it erotica.
Jack: That man can wear a sweater.
[water pours from ceiling]
Jack: The ceiling appears to be leaking.
Cooter: No, it's not. We looked into it and it's not.
I even stopped to catch a snowflake with my tongue, but apparently that's some signal in Chelsea.
Jack
Jack: Deborah is testing off the charts in the most profitable demographics: Soccer moms, NASCAR dads, white collar pervs and the obese.
Jack: The stutter got so bad I was taken out of my grade and put in the special class, held in the boiler room. My only other classmate was named Gilly. He'd fallen though the ice as a child and was technically dead for 57 minutes. They taught us to sweep sawdust so we could find work at a mill. Of course I overcame the stutter in three languages. On to Princeton, Harvard, the top of the business world. I thought I blocked this out, but a thing like this brings back emotions.
Liz: I'm so sorry.
Jack: I feel like I'm back in that boiler room; making little piles of sawdust while Gilly plays with himself in the corner...
Liz: C'mon, you can talk to Mitch about President Reagan.
Jack: Oh, in his mind Reagan is still president. [to Mitch] You lucky bastard!
She is my lover. That's right. She's my liberal, hippy-dippy mama; my groovy chick; my old lady. She was our chief adversary during the Sheinhardt Wig hearings. She wants to tax us all to death and make it legal for a man to marry his own dog. But I think what we have is special, and I'm proud of her. And I'm not going to hide it any longer. I'm Jack Donaghy, damn it! And this is my woman.
Lemon, what happened? Did you take an Ambien with your Franzia and sleep walk here?
Jack
C.C.: Nobody can know we're together. Not even your friend Tracy Jordan out there.
Jack: I don't think you have to worry about Tracy.
Tracy: Stop eating people's old French fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Don't you know you can fly?
C.C.: I've been going crazy the last few days thinking about our night together. How you wanted to brush my hair as foreplay. How you made me that Western omelet at 4 a.m. I've never met anyone like you, Jack.
Jack: Be with me, C.C. We'll ignore our differences 'til the sex goes bad then... we'll walk away bitter and angry.
