Jeff Greene Quotes
You weigh like 8 pounds. What do you know about food?
Larry: Scrabble?
Jeff: I'd love to play Scrabble!
Larry: I said it and kind of got in the mood.
Fine, I'll be the fat Tin Man that disappoints children.
Jeff: Why didn't you say hello to him? You know him.
Larry: I know. He wanted to do a stop-and-chat. I didn't want to do a stop-and-chat.
Jeff: "Stop-and-chat?" Where do you come up with these things?
Larry: Jesus Christ! My penis is itching!
Jeff: You know what? You put that doll head down there and who knows what that hair is made out of. You've got a allergic reaction, I'm telling you.
Larry: Yeah, I think I got some kinda rash. I gotta check out my penis, I have to go to the doctor now? That's going to be a lot of fun; "Where'd you get the rash?"
"Oh, I stuck a doll's head down my pants, Doctor. It feels good to me!"
Jeff: So, tomorrow night, you guys wanna go to dinner before part two?
Cheryl: Uhmm..
Larry: No.
Cheryl: Well, I do wanna go to part two.
Larry: No.
Jeff: You gotta go to part two! You're a part of the ABC Family!
Cheryl: Yeah, we're definitely going to part two.
Larry: Yeah, but we're not going to dinner with you though.
Cheryl: We've already made plans.
Larry: We don't have any plans, we just don't wanna go to dinner with you
Larry: He implied that I was lying about my step-father.
Jeff: You don't have a step-father!
Larry: But I didn't like the implication
Lucy: Here's to The Vagina Monologues.
Jeff: Hey, here's to the vagina
[My mom] said, "Larry felt my bosom, and held it there for several seconds"
Larry: Your mother thinks I touched her breast? That is so sick!
Jeff: It's what she thinks. What can I say? Sweet dreams.
Larry: "Sweet dreams". I'll dream about fucking your mother. "Sweet dreams".
Jeff: Do you know what 'Indian giving' is?
Larry: Yes, I know what it's called. It's a very racist term, but I'm okay with it
Larry: I need a letter of apology from your friend.
Jeff: Retraction, retraction!
Larry: Retraction? What are they going to say? "We're sorry we called her a cunt, we meant 'aunt.'"
