NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSJimmy Palmer Quotes
Ducky: A series of stab wounds that even Jack the Ripper would find excessive.
Palmer: What a terrifying character from history. Certainly made me not want to be a lady of the night.
Palmer: I told Tony that you wanted to speak to Agent Gibbs, not that Gibbs ever actually speaks. After "what do you got, doc?" all I get is angry glare.
Tony: Hey Palmer.
Gibbs: Angry glare.
Palmer: Gibbs is going for a checkup. And his doctor told him to avoid caffeine for seventy-two hours.
Bishop: That seems...unwise.
Tony: That could kill him.
Palmer: Or worse! The guy's scary enough when he's properly medicated. I can't imagine what it'd be like with caffeine withdrawal. I can only imagine someone taking King Kong's bananas. I'm not going to turn around.
Gibbs: Good idea.
Palmer: No. I don't want to.
Ducky: You don't want to what, Mr. Palmer?
Palmer: I don't want to know how much her liver weighs. I don't want to catalogue her scars. Most of all, I don't want to cut open another friend. Think I've had my limit.
Palmer: Well there's Dirk, if it's a boy obviously. Or Oskar, with a "K".
Abby: Oskar Palmer. It's a lot of "Rs".
Palmer: If it's a girl, we're thinking Frieda, Greta, Liesl. Something von Trappish.
Last week she used chocolate milk to make mashed potatoes.
Ducky: Allow me to impart a little bit of wisdom that I have given to each and every aspiring agent before you, on this your probie eval day. Don't fret your number. Jethro gives low scores to push you.
Bishop: Wait. What?
Palmer: The lower your score, the more potential Gibbs thinks you have.
Bishop: So if you got a high score?
Ducky: Then, I would advise you to turn in your badge
Ducky: What happens when frogs park illegally?
Palmer: They get towed
Ducky: Kiddos? Plural? You and Breena are expecting twins?
Palmer: Oh I thought I told you, doctor. Once we found out we were pregnant we decided that it was a sign that we were meant to have two. So, you know, we're going to adopt a second eventually.
Ducky: Why not a third or a fourth? Two boys and two girls. I can see it now. You and Breena with a row of ducklings following behind.
Palmer: I can see it too.
Palmer: Don't worry. He's as high as a kite.
Troutman (groggy): Wait. I know you.
McGee: Jimmy.
Palmer: Or not.
Troutman: Are there violent chinchilla babies here too?
McGee: They were here.
Troutman: No!
McGee: But we got rid of them.
Troutman: God bless you.
Palmer: I take it you heard?
Gibbs: Mmm hmm.
Palmer: Yeah, she saw the baby and just....I guess she felt the same way we felt when we first saw him. Can't fault her for that, right?
Gibbs: You should go home.
Palmer: I will. Yeah Breena and I, we just wanted to get all this stuff out of the house. You know, we wanted to give it back as soon as possible.
Gibbs: We.
Palmer: Me. She's hurting too, but she is so much stronger. She's ready to try again. And me - I feel like I can't breathe. I never felt this bad in my life, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Well, just wait until it's 3:00 in the morning, and your kid's running 104. You're just getting started.
Palmer: That's the point. I'm not starting, you know? Maybe I never will.
Gibbs: Well then fight for it, Palmer! That's what you do. You fight for your family. And sometimes, you fight like hell just to have one.
Palmer: You want me to fight, I feel like I just went ten rounds with Joe Louis.
Gibbs: Do you want to be a dad, Palmer? Because right now, this is being a dad.
Palmer: Maybe I'm not ready.
Gibbs: You wouldn't feel the way you feel, right now, if you weren't ready.
Palmer: I've always been fascinated by private detectives.
Ducky: Yes, I would venture that's because you were influenced by the great literary British detectives. Sherlock Holmes, Jane Marple. They were all intelligent, cultured, articulate, refined. Not shady and unethical, like this hustler, this miscreant.
Abby: I like Ace Ventura.
Ducky: Who?
