Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Joey: (To Bonnie) We're playing strip Happy Days game!
Bonnie: Cool! I'll catch up! (Takes off her sweater)
Joey: But you'd go out with me, right?
Monica: No! It is the same as with Chandler. We're friends.
Joey: Well, let's say we're the last two guys on the planet and you had a gun to your head. Which one would you pick?
Monica: Which one of you has the gun to my head?
Rachel: (About Bonnie) Is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
Joey: Yeah, sure. Well, you know, earlier she was talking about geography.
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries she's done it in.
Joey: Well, I think we all learned something.
If you go with Bonnie you're doing the smart, sensible thing and moving on, and, if you go with Rachel, does that mean Bonnie's free tonight?
Ross: All right, so Chandler, from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you. You know, just, don't turn your back to him.
Joey: Yeah, or, you could teach him a lesson, you know? What you could do is you could rub something that smells really bad on your butt, right? Then, when he goes to smack you, his hand will smell. Now, what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Chandler: What if Joey was president?
Ross: (About Joey's finger in his mouth) What is that taste?
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.
Rachel: What, Pheebs?! Two dates in one day? That's so unlike you.
Phoebe: I know, I know! I'm like playing the field. Ya know? Like, juggling two guys, I'm sowing my wild oats. Ya know? Ya know, this kind of like, ya know, oat-sowing, field-playing juggler.
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads?
Monica: I gotta go water Pete's plants. You know what? If he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants, if you know what I mean.
Joey: Or... ha, ha! We could go over there and pee on them!
Joey: What happened to playing the field?
Phoebe: Well, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field!
Monica: Pete's breaking up with me.
Monica: I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk.
Monica: Well, that's it. People never say "We need to talk" unless it's something bad.
Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.
Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.
Joey: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and our chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck.
Chandler: Or Dick.
Joey: (After the critics trash Kate's performance) Drama critics are just people who couldn't make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Kate: Become a drama critic.