Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Monica: (About Joey's modeling job) Oh, wow, so you're gonna be one of those "healthy, healthy, healthy guys"?
Phoebe: You know, the asthma guy was really cute.
Chandler: Do you know which one you're gonna be?
Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (Crosses fingers)
Chandler: Good luck, man. I hope you get it.
Ross: She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
Joey: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be, like, the worst lesbian ever!
(About the new guy at work) These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all... stop lasting.
Joey: We'll just leave and when we pass her on the stairs she won't know it's me because we never met.
Chandler: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
Joey: How can you get a monkey into a zoo?
Chandler: I know that one! No, wait. That's Popes into a Volkswagen.
Ross: She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently, he's reached sexual maturity.
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya!
Joey: All right, when did ya have it on last?
Phoebe: Doy! Probably right before she lost it!
Chandler: You don't get a lot of "doy" these days.
Chandler: Joe... Joe... Joe... Stalin?
Joey: Stalin! Stalin. Do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Chandler: Well, it does not ring a bell with me!
Joey: Joe Stalin. You know, that's pretty good!
Chandler: Hey, you know, you might wanna try Joseph.
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!
Phoebe: (Looking at a water sculpture that looks like a window with rain running down it) Hey, excellent, excellent water-table thing.
Joey: Thanks, yeah. I love this, but you know what? It makes me want to pee.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, me too. Yeah. I think that's the challenge.
Joey: All right, no peeking. No peeking, no peeking, no peeking.
Chandler: All right, all right, but you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes.
Joey: Prepare to feel very bad about yourself.
Chandler: Hey, well, I've been prepared for that my entire life. Or something about you that's mean.
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Chandler: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me.
