Joey: Oh yeah. Go for it, man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!
Chandler: Yeah, Joe. I assure you if I'm ever staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much gonna be peeing every which way.

Face your fear. You have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building. You're afraid of bugs, get a bug.

Monica: I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?
Joey: I love that movie.
(Grabs boob from under Joey's head)
Monica: Here it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: I'm sorry, it just felt nice.

Phoebe: Well, it was just... it was all so crazy, you know? I mean, Chandler was in the closet counting to 10, and he was up to 7, and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See? All of it.
Joey: Yep, that's my audition.
Monica: See? Now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.
Phoebe: Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.

Monica: (Looking at potential sperm donors) Look at this guy! He's from Queens, 27, an actor. From a big family, 7 girls and he's the only... (Looks at Joey) ...boy. Oh my God, under Personal Comments, "New York Knicks rule."
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule!

Ah, this guy's an astronaut, that would have been so cool! (Monica looks at Joey) For like a day.

Rachel: (About the sling on Joey's arm) Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Joey: No. I had a whole cover story, but Chandler here sold me out.
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe, I didn't think the doctor would buy that it just fell out of the socket.

Chandler: Okay Joe, I gotta ask. The hot girl from the xerox place buck naked (He gestures with his one hand), or a big tub of jam (He gestures with his other hand)?
Joey: Put your hands together.

Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Phoebe: Thank you, Monica.
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.

Joey: Remember when your mom would send you to the movies with a jar of jam and a spoon?
Rachel: (Pats Joey on the head) You're so pretty.

Joey: Oh, Jam? I love jam! Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.

Joey: All right, they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider.
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: (Joey takes a drink) Yeah, it's fat. I drank fat!
Chandler: Yeah I know, I did that two minutes ago.

Friends Quotes

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Monica: (To Julie) It's an expression.