Do you have to use the SodaStream right now? Artie's in a very fragile state.

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Artie was mugged in the subway and now it’s like an episode of SVU over here.

• Permalink: Artie was mugged in the subway and now it’s like an episode of SVU over here.
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What decade are you from? I’m not afraid of you. You’re just a bunch of cowards!

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Oh look, it’s someone’s birthday! Clap clap clap clap clap!

• Permalink: Oh look, it’s someone’s birthday! Clap clap clap clap clap!
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I said yeah, if we don’t kill each other in combat class, count us in.

• Permalink: I said yeah, if we don’t kill each other in combat class, count us in.
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I would much rather be running this race with you than against you.

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Give me your phone. You’re being unplugged until after opening night.

• Permalink: Give me your phone. You’re being unplugged until after opening night.
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Whatever door June opens for you I’ll be right there next to you walking through it with you. You’re taking one for the team.

• Permalink: Whatever door June opens for you I’ll be right there next to you walking through it with you.
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Is Liza off her meds running around Central Park again?

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I always carry sheet music with me just in case.

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Years of skinny jeans have prepared me for this performance.

• Permalink: Years of skinny jeans have prepared me for this performance.
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Cert. I'm Cert, like the breath mint.

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