Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSFavorite Laurie Keller Quotes
Laurie: Wait guys, I read something!
Ellie: Already not a true story.
I always hold eye contact with people, it totally freaks out my gyno.
It's not my fault that I am allergic to latex and birth control pills.
Hey bro, there is no music in the world that will match what your body is doing.
I don't know exactly what your race is, but I am into it in a big way.
Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.
Women do love when men fight for them. There is nothing less sexy than a man that respects a restraining order.
Bobby: You need to go hit it and quit it.
Andy: Toot it and boot it.
Laurie: Whip it and skip it.
Bobby: Wax it and tax it.
Andy: Mother it and smother it.
Laurie: Bop it and drop it.
Grayson: Chuck it and ... re-chuck it.
Laurie: Yours don't make any sense.
Please I don't miss people I dismiss them.
I'm gonna have to throw my "too creepy" flag!
As my uncle dad always told me, check yourself, before you wreck yourself.
Laurie: Hey hot flash, did you do that? (It says FAKE on her purse)
Ellie: Yes, I did. See the reason why I buy expensive things is to belittle people who cant afford them.
