Sloane [McGee has left in a hurry]: Yep, he knows.
Vance: Well, at least he was nice enough to lie.

Vance: Well, what is your professional opinion, Jack?
Sloane: Honestly, I’m stumped. Gibbs has the best poker face I’ve ever seen. It’s like trying to read a statue.

Bear in mind, Gibbs, when the world is watching, “No comment” can only play for so long!

Vance: SecNav has asked me to draft a press release.
Sloane: Let me guess. “We’ll support the Virginia State Police in every way possible to solve the murder of May Carter, however this case does not fall under the jurisdiction of NCIS.”
Vance: Once again, say that slowly so I can type it!

Gibbs: That was some nice shooting, Leon!
Vance: It was our house. Had to defend it.
Gibbs: Is that my weapon?
Vance: [shrugs]

Sloane: This is *not* about getting hooked up to a car battery! These are not emotions I can just get over! This is not a problem that can be solved! [beat] I should’ve saved them.
Vance: You didn’t kill them.
Sloane [voice breaking]: But I let them die.

Gibbs: Side door was open.
Fornell: After you picked the lock?

Couples therapy is not in my job description.

Vance [regarding Gibbs and Fornell]

Gibbs [enters in a hurry]: He’s right behind me, and you gotta say no!
Vance [confused]: Say no to what?
Fornell [enters leisurely]: Director! It’s good to see you.

Vance: Sometimes I like to *eat* my meal, not *sip* it.
Kayla: Diner food isn’t a meal!

Kayla: I made a mistake.
Vance: No, a mistake is when you step on the accelerator instead of the brakes. You made a--
Both: Bad choice.

So, my little girl is a thief. Not a good look for the head of a federal agency.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: You and Zoe broke up?
Tony: You heard.
McGee: Why didn't you tell me?
Tony: Well the break-up bug's going around. Didn't want you to catch it.

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott