Liz Lemon Quotes
Jack: Do you know what pays for your show Lemon?
Liz: Our product placement deal with Sullivan Psychiatric Clinic. Sullivan Psychiatric, you'll drool over our crazy prices.
It doesn't matter how long you live in New York, it's still fun to look up and pretend all the buildings are giant, severed, robot penises.
Jack: This isn't my first rodeo Lemon.
Liz: Well I've been to a rodeo to. It was a cat rodeo, in a gay guy's apartment.
Jack: Who wears shoes at a beach?
Liz: Only Rocky and Apollo Creed during the training montage.
Well, one of my New Year's resolutions was to say yes. Yes to love. Yes to life. Yes to staying in more!
The airline lost my luggage and the only place to buy anything on the island was at the tennis pro shop. Luckily I had the essentials in my carry-on; toiletries, closed toed shoes, and the State Department recommended mosquito head net.
Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old
Jack what are you doing? You promised me a drama free dinner. I could be sitting at the corner table at the K-Mart Cafe right now.
I've never seen her this upset since Hurricane Katrina. The coverage pre-empted a tampon commercial she was in.
I was going to bring dessert tomorrow, so are there any foods that are making you nauseous lately? Please don't say a half sleeve of Oreos.
Pete: Ever since Tracy got nominated for a Golden Globe, he thinks he's Sean Penn.
Liz: Well they both have had screaming fights with Wyclef Jean.
It's my new thing, travel on Christmas Day. That way I avoid the annual Lemon family blow up, and this year it's going to be a doozy. My aunt Linda is bringing her new boyfriend who is neither her age nor her race, and her ex-husband will also be there with his date...alcoholism. I swoop in the next day for presents and pie.