Liz Lemon Quotes
Liz: And by the way, what kind of a moron calls in sick and then comes to work to have a meeting?
Josh: I get an NBC discount here.
Liz: Idiot!
Jack: Steven's good, man, he's on partner track at Dewey and he's a Black.
Liz: A black!? That's offensive.
Jack: No, no. That's his name. Steven Black... good family. Remarkable people, the Blacks, musical, very athletic, not very good swimmers. Again I'm talking about the family. Black is African-American, though.
Liz: Well I don't care about that.
Jenna: Steven played the race card. What did you do?
Liz: What could I do? I picked up the check and made out with him a little bit in the taxi.
You can't solve all your problems by shooting someone or setting a stranger on fire.
Tracy: Who else is going to be at that party?
Jack: Well, you're going to be sharing the stage with NAS...
Tracy: Nope, he hates me! We used to date the same girl.
Jack: What about Young Jeezy?
Tracy: Forget about it. I called his pit bull gay on 106th and Park.
Liz: That would do it.
Jack: Good God. Devon is gay. He's even more powerful than I thought.
Liz: Maybe you should seduce him and get him to tell you all his secret plans.
Liz: His name's Floyd.
Jack: That's unfortunate.
Tracy: The Black Crusaders are a secret group of powerful Black Americans. Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey are the chief majors, but Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell and Gordon from Sesame Street, they're members, too, and they meet four times a year in the skull of the Statue of Liberty. You can read about that on the Interweb.
Liz: Ah, well, it must be true if it's on the "Interweb."
I want to do that thing rich people do where they turn money into more money.
Kenneth: Miss Lemon, may I speak with you?
Liz: Sure. Can you walk and talk?
Kenneth: Uh... usually, but now you got me thinking about it.
Jenna: I'm on a crash diet to get back to my old weight by Friday.
Liz: Well, what diet is going to do that?
Jenna: Oh, it's the Japanese porn star diet. I only eat paper, but I can eat all the paper I want, so...
Liz: Okay, everyone, welcome back. Some of you may be wondering what happened between me and my boyfriend Floyd this summer. The answer is we did break up, but I am doing fine.
Frank: Is Floyd the Black guy?
