Lorelai Gilmore Quotes
Lorelai: (to Headmaster Charleston's secretary) Hi, I-I'm Lorelai Gilmore. This is my daughter, Lorelai Gilmore, because I named her after me. I was in the hospital, all whacked out on Demerol. Never mind. Um, but we call her Rory. It's short for Lorelai, but she'll answer to either one, or even "hey, you" depending on the Uh, is the headmaster here?
Secretary: One moment. (walks to his office)
Lorelai: (whispering to Rory) See, that's what happens when you go to bed with your makeup on.
Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz?
Richard: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.
Lorelai: Well, at least you have your new slogan.
Lorelai: Please, Luke. Please, please, please.
Luke: How many cups have you had this morning?
Lorelai: None.
Luke: Plus...
Lorelai: Five, but yours is better.
Luke: You have a problem.
Lorelai: Yes, I do.
Luke: Junkie.
Lorelai: Angel. You've got wings, baby.
Lorelai: Michel, the phone.
Michel: Mm-hmm. It rings.
Lorelai: Can you answer it?
Michel: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them.
Lorelai: You know who's really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency.
Michel: Independence Inn. Michel speaking.
Rory: You're happy.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: Did you do something slutty?
Lorelai: I'm not that happy.
(after the man in the diner hits on Lorelai, she turns around to find him hitting on Rory)
Joey: (to Rory) Yeah, I've never been through here before.
Lorelai: Oh, you have too.
Joey: Oh, hi.
Lorelai: Oh, hi. You really like my table, don't you?
Joey: I was just, uh...
Lorelai: Getting to know my daughter?
Joey: Your...
Rory: Are you my new daddy?
Richard: Rory. You're tall.
Rory: I guess.
Richard: Well, what's your height?
Rory: 5'7".
Richard: That's tall! She's tall.
Lorelai: Hi, Dad.
Richard: Lorelai. Your daughter's tall.
Lorelai: Oh, I know, it's freakish. We're thinking of having her studied at M.I.T.
Emily: Champagne, anyone?
Lorelai: Wow, that's fancy.
Emily: Well, it's not every day I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open.
Lorelai: Hey, I had dibs on being the bitch tonight.
Rory: Just tonight?
Lorelai: What the hell's wrong with you?
(Sookie feeds Lorelai a spoonful of sauce)
Lorelai: Oh, dear God Almighty. That's incredible!
Sookie: I want to put it on the waffles tomorrow morning for breakfast.
Lorelai: I want to take a bath in that sauce!
Sookie: I will make more!
Lorelai: Someday when we open our own inn, diabetics will be lining up for this sauce.
Sookie: Won't that be great?
Lorelai: Yeah, but the key to someday achieving that dream is for you to stay alive long enough so we can actually open an inn, you understand?
Rory: I can't believe tomorrow's my last day at Stars Hollow High.
Lorelai: I know.
Rory: Today I was so excited I dressed for gym.
Lorelai: You're kidding!
Rory: And I played volleyball.
Lorelai: With other people?
Rory: And I learned that all this time I've been avoiding group sports...
Lorelai: Yeah...?
Rory: ..it was very smart because I suck at them.
Lorelai: Well, you get that from me.
Sookie: Where's your pate?
Lorelai: At Zsa-Zsa's Gabor's house?
Sookie: Right. I'm going to the store because you have nothing. You like duck?
Lorelai: OOooohhh, if it's made with chicken, absolutely!
