Grey's Anatomy
Thursdays 9:00 PM on ABCMiranda Bailey Quotes
MIRANDA: [to baby] "You know I'm having' a baby too, yes I am! A little boy! Maybe you could meet him someday! How's that sound, does that sound good?" [to Cristina] "Pregnancy has not made me soft. I haven’t gone soft. I don't do soft."
CRISTINA: "Of course not, just talking to a patient."
"These are preemies, people. They were supposed to spend another eight weeks in the womb. Just like interns, they're not ready for the real world."
"Yang, how about we do this in plain English?"
MIRANDA: "You want to tell me what that was all about?"
IZZIE: "Nothing. He's probably just crazy or something... Bethany Whisper."
MIRANDA: "What?"
IZZIE: "Bethany Whisper. I did a new Bethany Whisper lingerie ad, he saw it in a magazine."
MIRANDA: "You had time to pose for magazines?"
IZZIE: "No, the shoot was last year, it just came out.
MIRANDA: "So, because he saw you in a thong..."
IZZIE: "No! It was not a thong!"
MIRANDA: "You're hiding out in the hallway?"
IZZIE: "I just think it might be easier if you assign another intern."
MIRANDA: "Easy is not in your job description. You are a doctor. He is a patient. He's your patient! Biopsy these! If they come back positive, I expect to see you in surgery. You're on this! You hear me? "
DEREK: "So, when did this problem begin?"
STEVE: "Well, I had an erection last night and woke up with one this morning."
MIRANDA: "Umm, Dr. Shepherd, if you don't need me, the other Dr. Shepherd needs a consult on one of the quints."
DEREK: "Yeah, no we're fine. So when did you last ejaculate?"
STEVE: "I'm not sure. Meredith?"
CRISTINA: [leaves, tries not to laugh] "Oh, I'm... I'm gonna go with Dr. Bailey."
STEVE: "Meredith, what time did we, uh...you know."
DEREK: [smiles] "Yes, Meredith. What time did you two?"
STEVE: "A needle!? In my penis!?!"
MIRANDA: "Well, the next step is penile infarction or gangrene, so if you want it to fall off..."
[to Steve] "There'll be lots of labs, lots of needles, lots of painful procedures. Procedures which might make you wish you never had a penis. You sure you don't want to change your story?"
[to Mer & Cristina] "Hey! Don't make me chase you down. I'm growing a person here!"
CRISTINA: "I'm not a people person."
MIRANDA: "No kidding."
"Fools on bikes killing themselves. Natural selection is what it is."
MIRANDA: "You are a surgical junkie. Go home!"
RICHARD: "Adele is already mad. I'm in trouble no matter what ... and there's a wipple happening in OR2."
MIRANDA: "Go home, right now!"
RICHARD: [walking away] "You know this kind of treatment is the reason they call you the Nazi!"
MIRANDA: [smiles] "Happy Thanksgiving."
MIRANDA: "Dr. Kent."
VISITING DOCTOR: "Yes."
MIRANDA: "I'm the surgical resident assisting you today. I know you're subbing in from Mercy West, so if there's anything I can do to help you-"
VISITING DOCTOR: "Look I'm only here for one day and I don't need my ass kissed. All I need is to tell you what to do and you do it. I don't like mistakes."
MIRANDA: "I don't make mistakes."
VISITING DOCTOR: "Whatever, there's only one resident I want in my OR -- this guy they call the Nazi. Do you know him?"
MIRANDA: "The Nazi?"
VISITING DOCTOR: "He gets a great word of mouth, a stellar rep. Balls the size of Texas."
MIRANDA: "That big? Sounds like an impressively talented man, this 'Nazi.'"
VISITING DOCTOR: "Do you know him or not?"
MIRANDA: "Never heard of him but I'll be sure to keep an eye out."
VISITING DOCTOR: "For now you can work on smaller cases. A guy just came in to curtain three. Page me if you get confused."
MIRANDA: "I'll be sure to do that."
