Saddle shoes with denim? I will literally call protective services.

No, I don't think he can make it as an actor, but he also can't make it as an employee in an office, so why not go nuts with it.

Oscar: Angela you still have your son.
Angela: I guess.

Our office has an unusually large number of unusually large people.

Oscar: It looks like the camera man was hiding behind the shelves.
Phyllis: Wait, so they were filming all the time even when we didn't know it?

I'll watch it. Let's get this over with.

I didn't realize how many of Angela's opinions I agreed with...until she tried to have my knee caps shattered for sleeping with her husband.

Angela: If you pray enough, you can turn yourself into a cat person.
Oscar: Those guys always turn back, Angela.

If you would have seen the look he gave me, he wanted to rock more than just my vote.

Darryl: Ryan was douche bag.
Ryan: Hey that's not a code name that's just an insult.
Oscar: Plus, everyone would know who you meant.
Ryan: Yeah.

Oscar: Don't you wanna see the baby?
Dwight: Why? I know what Angela and the Senator look like. I can mash that up in my head right now.

Oscar: I don't know if it's right.
Robert: Well if it's anything like that gorgeous wrapping paper, you hit it out of the park.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael