Jim: You'll never guess, I just got a message from my landlord apparently, my apartment flooded, something with a sprinkler. Pam, we should probably get going and see the damage.
Pam: Oh okay.
Michael: Well you don't need two of you to do that.
Jim: That's true. Um... dinner sounded delicious. Pam I'll see you at home, thank you so much.
Pam: Oh Jim, I don't think you're going to abandon this party here all by itself.
Jim: I don't know because I everything I own is there.
Pam: You can buy new stuff but you can't buy a new party.
Michael: That's true, that's a great point.

Oscar: So, Pam told me you do a great Stanley impression. I'd love to hear it.
Jim: Oh, um. "Why do you keep CCing me on things that have nothing to do with me?"
Stanley: Is that supposed to be me?
Jim: Oh, hey, Stanley. Uh, I was just doing an impression.
Stanley: I do not think that is funny.
Pam: He does everyone in the office.
Stanley: Hmph. [leaves]
Jim and Pam: "I do not think that is funny."

Dwight: You showed great leadership potential at the coal walk. Even if you did follow it with that embarrassing personal confession.
Pam: Thank you.
Dwight: I had to make Andy my number two. It's political, complicated, you wouldn't understand. I want you... to be Assistant Regional Manager.
Pam: Really?
Dwight: Well, in a sense. Although, publicly I am going to retain the Assistant Regional Manager position.
Pam: You will be your own assistant.
Dwight: Correct, I need someone I can trust. But I would also like the title... to be secretly applied to you. Just stripped of its pomp and frills.
Pam: Okay. So... you would be the Regional Manager, and the Assistant Regional Manager. Andy is your number two. I would be the Secret Assistant Regional Manager.
Dwight: Mmmmmm, let's call it Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager.
Pam: Mm-hmm.
Dwight: Do you accept?
Pam: Absolutely, I do.

Do you remember you specifically told me to bring one sheet of paper? You said it only takes one sheet to make a difference. I said, "Are you sure, Michael?" And you said, "Pam! Pam! Pam!" And then you sneezed in my tea and then you said, "Don't worry, it's just allergies." Do you remember that?

So many memories in this old gym. Pretending I have PMS so I didn't have to play volleyball, pretending I have PMS so I didn't have to play basketball. Those were the days!

Michael: All right, everybody... Oh my God, Pam, those make you look so ugly. Um, Pam, in order to get hotter, you take the glasses off. You're moving in the wrong direction...
Pam: I don't have my contacts...
Michael: Ub, dub dah, don't need, I can't even hear you. It's just noise coming out of an ugly scientist.

IT Guy: You know generally it's not a good idea to click on offers that you haven't requested. What was the exact offer?
Pam: It was for a video.
IT Guy: Yeah, what kind of video?
Pam: A celebrity sex tape.
Jim: Really, what kind of celebrity?
Pam: Not relevant.
Jim: How much did you pay for it?
Pam: Not relevant.
Jim: You paid for it?
Pam: It all happened so fast.

Pam: Thank God you were there.
Michael: Yeah.
Andy: Did you see who did it?
Dwight: No need we can just check the security tapes.
Michael: Gah. Kind of a good news bad news there. I was able to be on the scene so quickly because I was in the car that hit her.
Jim: Who was driving?
Pam: Oh, Michael.

If I knew I had a week to live, I would probably go to Europe. And South America. And the Grand Canyon. And I would want to see the Pacific Ocean. It would be a pretty busy week.

Pam

Pam: Hey.
Jim: Hey.
Pam: Ugh.
Jim: Ugh.
Pam: Everything okay?
Jim: Oh yeah. Why?
Pam: Well you seem a little tired.
Jim: Oh. Yeah well, I guess there's been a couple late nights. Karen and I have been up talking.
Pam: You should get more sleep.
Jim: Yeah, I know I should.
Pam: Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep.
Jim: No, I'm sure you're right.
Pam: When I get eight hours, compared to like six hours, like, big difference.
Jim: Really?
Pam: Oh yeah. Gotta get your REM cycle going with the whole sleeping. Better than not.
Jim: Good advice Beesley. Thanks. See you out there.
Pam: Yeah. Don't fall asleep at your desk.

Oscar: Hey, Pam I've been meaning to say something to you. I really miss our friendship.
Pam: Wow, very funny.
Stanley: I've never heard you talk that much. I thought it was Kelly.
Kelly: Are you kidding? I would have never done that. It was pathetic-ville. No offense, Pam.
Meredith: You know what? Don't even worry about it. Everyone was so drunk, I bet no one even remembers what you said.
Creed: I remember. I blogged the whole thing.

Pam: Wait, are those Michael's Levi's?
Ryan: Yeah. Who dry cleans jeans?

The Office Quotes

Pam: So I closed the door but the image of his...
Jim: Baquette.
Pam: ... dangling participle...
Jim: Eww.
Pam: ... still burned in my eyes.
Jim: I can imagine.

Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman, Fast Car. And my personal favorite, Short People.

Darryl