Pam: And I make sounds much worse than this?
Dwight: Oh we know.

Pam: What are you doing?
Dwight: What does it look like I'm doing? Digging a grave for a horse.

Erin: Pam, how would you rate me as a receptionist on a scale of 1 to 3?
Pam: Ummm, two?
Erin: That's like the second to last thing I wanted to hear.

Ryan: Everybody wants to be rich, but nobody wants to work for it.
Pam: You came in at 10:30 today right?

Pam: I think we should get a townhouse in SoHo.
Ryan: SoHo's mostly lofts but okay.

Creed: It's Creed. FYI I'm starting my own paper company, looking to poach some chumps. You in?
Pam: Yes.
Creed: Cool. Let's keep this on the QT okay? I want you to be a dead mama jama.

Pam: You're in the gay mafia.
Oscar: You're thinking of another group. Much wealthier, much older. You sound ignorant.

Pam: He talked about himself in the third person?
Angela: Yes Pam, not everyone is as informal as you and Jim. Oh hey Pam, dude. Wanna marry me?

Pam: Why do you need to wear the holster at all?
Dwight: Why do you need to keep wearing those boobie shirts all the time?
Angela: Thank you.

Creed: He put some snacks in the freezer for us.
Pam: You mean the frozen mice for the piranha?
Creed: No, the blueberry slurpy pouch.
Phyllis: He means the ice pack.

Pam: Should we get toppings?
Michael: What do you like Pam?

Pam: Why don't you want to eat lunch with your boyfriend?
Erin: I really don't like spending time with him.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael