Always the padawan, never the jedi.

Dwight

Pam: Their breadsticks are like crack.
Ryan: I love when people say "like crack" who've obviously never done crack.

Pam: Michael, she's perfect for you.
Oscar: She's the one.
Jim: She's amazing. This is very exciting.

Michael, hey I just came out to see what you were doing, and maybe stop you.

Pam: No laughing. No comments. Just positive energy and we'll have a pure fun day. Okay?
Creed: Thanks mom.

Pam: What else was there?
Jim: Bottomless champagne.
Pam: Yes. We never found that bottom did we?

Pam: Got it. I will put out an A.P.B. Otherwise known as an Ask Pam Beasley...Did the phone cut out?
Jim: Nope.

Darryl: I told her Santa would be here.
Michael: Yeah well I was told Holly would be here, single and ready to date, and we all got misled.
Pam: Who told you that?
Michael: Nora Ephron...in every romantic comedy ever made.

At its worst it was a toxic, political club used to make others feel miserable and left out. At its best, it planned parties.

Dwight: We have a colleague with the same name. You're not a liar too are you.
Other Pam: I've been known to bend the truth.
Dwight: Damn it Pam! Get out!

Pam: You've been watering down the soap?
Dwight: Why do you even need soap? Are you that bad at going to the bathroom?

Pam: So everyone here knows pirate code?
Creed: I understand it, I can't speak it.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael