Pam: You can flirt with someone to get what you want and also be attracted to them. How do you think we got together?
Jim: 'Cause I stopped by your desk 15 times a day.
Pam: I was after your money.
Jim: Well the joke was on you.
Pam: Yes it was.

She could've left a while ago. Most printer sales are done over the phone, Ms. Boob-shirt.

Pam: Hey. You know, um, I was engaged before Jim.
Erin: Really?
Pam: Yeah. And he worked here, too.
Erin: It was Andy wasn't it?
Pam: No, no it wasn't Andy. It wasn't. It doesn't matter. It's not about who you've been with. It's about who you end up with. Sometimes the heart doesn't know what it wants until it finds what it wants.
Erin: I hope you find what you're looking for.
Pam: [pauses] Thank you.

Jim: What's up?
Dwight: Milk is coming in, she's getting uncomfortable.
Jim: Dwight, don't be gross.
Pam: No, no he's right.
Dwight: Same things happens to my cows if I don't tend them frequently enough. You gotta milk 'em. Or else they'll moo like crazy.

Pam: That's weird, my breast pump's missing. [to Jim] Have you seen my breast pump?
Dwight: Okay, this is going to traumatize me a hell of a lot more than you believe me.
Pam: You know what Dwight? Let me just check the bathroom first, okay?
Dwight: Really? Fine. Let your breasts explode. Three squeezes, and I would drain you.
Pam: Mmmm.

Pam: Meredith!
Meredith: I just like the way it feels!
Pam: What are you doing!
Meredith: Relax.
Pam: Relax!?
Meredith: This is like the Cadillac of pumps.
Pam: Give it back to me now!
Meredith: I was just ... I was warming it up.
Pam: That's disgusting!

Jim: Do you wanna just make a run for it?
Pam: Maybe.
Kevin: [walks by, starts screaming into Pam's chest] Wahhhhhhhh! Wahhhhh! Mammyyyyy!
Jim: What is happening?

Pam: Kevin!
Kevin: [hugs her] Ahhhhhhh!
Pam: Yay! How are you!
Kevin: Oh I missed you so much!
Pam Beesly: Aww!
Kevin: Yeahhhhhh! Wahhhhhh! Wahhhhhhhhhh! Wahhhhhhhhh!
[cut to interview]
Kevin: Well when a new mom hears a baby cry, her you-know-whats fill up with you-know-what? And then her shirt gets... you know ... That would be funny!

Pam: Wanna count her fingers and toes again?
Jim: No. Let her rest. I'm sure there are still 12 of each.

Pam: Don't be mad.
Jim: Mad? How could I be mad? We're having a little girl.

Jim: I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.
Pam: I cannot wait for that joke to be over.

Michael: Why do I need to explain everything?
Pam: Because we're usually not on the same page.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael