Phoebe Buffay Quotes
Leslie: Okay, my next song's called, "Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say? I Really Loved When We Were Singing Partners, And I Shouldn'ta Left You That Way."
Phoebe: Oh no, one of those look-for-the-hidden-meaning songs.
Leslie: Well, I, you know, I was just, um, I was just thinking and hoping, that um, maybe you'd want to get back together?
Phoebe: No. But thanks.
Leslie: Aw, come on Phoebe, would you just think about it?
Phoebe: Okay. (Pretends to think about it) No. But thanks.
(About Leslie) When we were playing together, that was the best time I've had in, like, all my lives.
Joey: It was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dad's cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner...
Monica: You gave her food poisoning?!
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
Phoebe: Oh, my God! You threw Pepper on the fire!
Joey: I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably should have told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a, ah, artificial leg.
Monica: Oh, my God! Joey, what did you do after you threw her leg on the fire?
Joey: I ran!
Joey: Since when do you roller blade?
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like, you know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so, you know, we made a deal that's he's going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Ross: And what are you going to do for him?
Phoebe: I'm going to let him.
Phoebe: How was last night with Julio, seorita?
Monica: It was so amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta show you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich. Why don't you guys get a magician?
Chandler: Well, if the magician can open my beer with his butt cheeks, then all right.
Cookie: Hey. What are we drinking over here?
Phoebe: Well, I have, ah, vodka and cranberry juice.
Cookie: No kidding. That's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Phoebe: Wow. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you.
Phoebe: You saved them! You guys! Oh God, you're the best!
Chandler: It's like "Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees."
Phoebe: I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Joey: Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Phoebe: Really?
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, it's their only chance to see New York.
Monica: We are playing for women everywhere. Okay, just think about every lousy date that you ever had, okay, every guy who kept on the TV while you're making out...
Phoebe: Oh, my God! You dated someone with a glass eye too?!
Monica: Huddle up.
Joey: All right, huddle up, right over here.
Phoebe: Wait for me! Wait for me! Wait for me! Oh cool, this is my first huddle.
Monica: Okay.
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you guys really think of Chandler?
Monica: Okay, Phoebe you know what you're doing right?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Monica: Okay, Joey's gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Phoebe: What's block?
Monica: Phoebe, I thought you said you know what you're doing?
Phoebe: I thought you meant in life.
