Rachel Green Quotes
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Nora: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
Chandler: My mother, ladies and gentlemen!
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Phoebe: Yeah, you wish!
Ross: That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?
Monica: No. No, I don't.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
Ross: My friend, Bethel, rescued him from some lab.
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much?
Ross: Just a smidge.
Phoebe: David's like, you know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical.
Monica: I think it's romantic.
Phoebe: Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman?
Rachel: Yeah!
Phoebe: Well, he's kind of like the guy I went to see that with.
Monica: (About a disheveled Rachel) Oh my gosh! Rachel, honey... Are you okay? Where Paolo?
Rachel: Rome. Jerk missed his flight.
Phoebe: And then... your face bloated?
Chandler: Alright I'd like to propose a toast, a little toast here. Ding, ding! I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you planned, but for me, this has been really great. You know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway I was just thinking, I mean, if you had gone to Vail or if you guys had been with your family or if you didn't have syphilis and stuff ... we wouldn't be all together you know, so I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm very thankful that all your Thanksgivings sucked.
Everyone Else: That's so sweet!
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas!
Rachel: And a crappy new year.
Chandler: Here, Here!
Rachel: Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary?
Terry: An advance?
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.
Terry: Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart. You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful.
Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?
Rachel: (Exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.
(To Chandler) When I first met you... I thought maybe, possibly, you might be... but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.
Ross: (High from pain medication) Rachel. Rachel Rachel. I love you the most.
Rachel: (Humoring him) Oh, well you know who I love the most?
Ross: No.
Rachel: You!
Ross: Oh... you don't get it!
(He passes out.)
Phoebe: Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
(They all look out the window and then flinch in pain)
Rachel: That had to hurt!
