Rachel Green Quotes
Rachel: So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Rachel: Okay. Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn?
Phoebe: Ooh! Bath salts would be nice.
Mr.Heckles: You're doing it again.
Monica: We're not doing anything. We're just sitting around talking, quietly.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats can't sleep.
Rachel: You don't even have cats.
Mr.Heckles: I could have cats.
Monica: I can't believe you. You still haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job yet?
Chandler: Well, you still haven't taken down the Christmas lights.
Monica: Congratulations, I think you've found the world's thinnest argument.
Chandler: I'm just trying to find the right moment, you know?
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldn't be so hard, now that you're dating.
Chandler: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
Rachel: No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there.
Oh! I see. And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics.
Chandler: I just don't want to be one of those guys who sits in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS.
Rachel: The WENUS?
Chandler: Weekly estimated net usage system. It's a processing term.
Rachel: Oh, that WENUS.
Monica: Wendy bailed. I have no waitress.
Rachel: Oh... that's too bad. Bye bye. (Starts to leave)
Monica: Ten dollars an hour.
Rachel: No.
Monica: Twelve dollars an hour.
Rachel: Mon. I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around.
Phoebe: Okay. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us.
Rachel: Or?
Phoebe: Or... or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.
Monica: Burning's good.
Phoebe: (While doing the ritual) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
Rachel: Ok, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.
Rachel: How do we end up with these jerks? We're good people.
Monica: I don't know. I think we're some kind of magnets.
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.
Monica: You can not do this.
Rachel: Do what? Do what?
Monica: Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night.
Rachel: No! Phoebes! Don't you remember why you dumped the guy?
Phoebe: 'Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... Alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!
Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.
Rachel: Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald.
